Being single is sometimes a choice for some people, however many people struggle to find a good partner.
There are many things we don't understand about ourselves that affect our chances of staying single.
You are constantly on the defensive.
Your defense mechanism can play a huge role in explaining why you are single. If you have been through a painful interpersonal relationship, your defenses tend to discourage you from new relationships.
From the very beginning of your life, if you have seen or experienced an unhealthy relationship, your defense mechanism will prevent you from entering into new relationships.
Fear of intimacy
Fear of intimacy can make you run away from relationships quite often. You may stop being with someone if you start liking him or her too much.
This fear may also be related to experiences you have had in the past. Being completely honest about your feelings and thoughts is something that scares you. You may be afraid that your connection will not always be the same.
You have low self-esteem
One of the dark sides of low self-esteem is that it will prevent you from getting close to someone you like.
Your low self-esteem will only point out your weaknesses. It prevents you from taking the first step, makes you feel not good enough, and therefore you remain alone.
You are too picky or a perfectionist
Have you watched the famous TV series "Friends"? Remember when Chandler thought he would die alone? It was because he was too picky in choosing a girl, sometimes her head was too big, or her nostrils were huge, etc.
Likewise, if you choose to focus on just one weird thing about your partner and ignore everything good about them, you will most likely not find anyone. Stop looking for the perfect partner, look for someone who will make you happy.
Fear of competition
When you have self-esteem issues, it's easy to develop a fear of competition. When you act on this fear, you're too quick to back off when you realize someone else is getting close to the person you like.
Fear of competition increases your chances of being single for a long time because you don't think you're good enough. So you don't put in the effort you need when you feel competitive.
What to do if you don't want to be alone anymore
Long-term loneliness can have profound psychological effects. However, there are some things you can do about it. To make it a little easier for you, here are some helpful tips if you don’t want to be lonely anymore.
1. Know what you really want. It is important to understand what is at the top of your priority list. You need to be clear about whether you really want to be in a relationship.
2. Think about what you are doing wrong. If none of your attempts to establish a relationship have been successful, then you are doing something wrong. You need to identify your mistakes and correct them.
3. Show your partner that he/she is important to you. If you are disappointed in your partner because of your insecurities and fears, he/she will definitely feel unnecessary in your life. If you are truly in love, step out of your comfort zone and make him/her feel important and needed.
4. Try to understand your partner's boundaries. Boundaries are really important, especially when you are in a relationship. It is very easy to misunderstand your partner's boundaries, and this can cause problems.
5. Appreciate what you have. Sometimes things take their time and it is important to appreciate the life you have now. Living alone is not that bad, there are some positives. Be patient and enjoy the life you have.
Earlier we talked about the unpleasant moments that can cause a man to lose his beloved .
