On playgrounds, you can always observe a variety of children's behavior, which is often divided into two categories: those who prefer quiet games in the sandbox, and those who prefer to actively run and seek adventure.
This division reflects differences in the characters and temperaments of children, as well as their preferences in play activities.
The first group of children play peacefully and quietly in the sandbox, building sand castles or forming various figures. They feel comfortable and cozy in this area, where there is no active movement and noise.
The second group of children, on the contrary, does not find a place for themselves on the playground and prefers to run, climb on slides or swings, explore new corners and look for adventures.
They are full of energy and curiosity, and every corner of the playground is a new opportunity for exploration and discovery.
However, we can notice particularly anxious parents around them: they follow them around, constantly commenting, “oohing” and “ahhing,” complaining to other mothers on the playground about how tired they are with their children, because they have no more strength…
Children grow and their personal boundaries grow. If before the question arose between the child and the mother whether he wants to eat porridge, then later an argument begins on the topic of how to dress, where to go to study, what friends to communicate with. The child has his own view on everything, it is difficult to accept it, because “we know better”.
How can we find a balance between protecting children from danger and giving them the freedom and opportunity to explore the world around them on their own?
This issue is becoming especially relevant in the modern world, where parents face a number of challenges and difficulties in raising their children.
We will discuss the impact of parental control on the formation of personal boundaries and self-esteem in children, and also offer practical recommendations for maintaining trust and open communication in the family with an expert on family education and founder of the ANO “National League of SO” Anastasia Kolpakova-Kalmykova .
Balance between yes and no
Parents play a key role in shaping their children's behavioral and emotional patterns. It is important that parents not only ensure the safety of their children, but also take into account their individual needs and preferences.
Constant use of prohibitions and restrictions can lead to children feeling disrespected by their parents, which can negatively affect their self-esteem and confidence. At the same time, too much freedom and lack of clear boundaries can lead to indiscriminate behavior and the child’s inability to assess danger.
Just yesterday your child wanted to dye his hair purple, and today he secretly runs away with friends to a sleepover, decides to jump on a bungee jump unexpectedly or shows up home with a tattoo. How can this be allowed?
The first reaction is to punish, lock the child at home, take away the phone.
But the art of parenting is finding the right balance between support and control.
Too frequent “no” erases the concept of what is permitted. The child begins to lose the connection between the prohibition and the degree of danger of his decisions. If a parent overreacts to every little thing and prohibits any independent choice, this leads to sad consequences.
It is important for parents to be flexible and adaptive, taking into account the age characteristics and individual needs of each child. This requires them to constantly communicate with their children, express their expectations and encourage their independence and initiative.
The transition to separation and the problem of "no"
One of the key stages in a child's development is the transition period from childhood to adolescence, when he begins to show independence and a desire for separation from his parents.
During this period, parents face new challenges related to setting boundaries and controlling their child's behavior.
One of the main problems that parents face is the excessive use of the word "no".
Constant prohibitions and restrictions can lead to conflicts and discontent in children, as well as to the destruction of trusting relationships between them and their parents. For a child, constant refusals can lead to a feeling of underestimation and misunderstanding on the part of parents.
It is important that you are willing to listen to your child, take into account his needs and preferences, and give him the opportunity to make his own decisions and be responsible for them.
Making your own decisions
The problem is that too much control can suppress a child's initiative and independence, while too much freedom can lead to unpredictable consequences and dangers.
One way to solve this problem is to develop the child's skills of reflection and self-analysis. Be open to dialogue: do not teach and "lecture", but ask questions so that the child can come to a conclusion and make the right conclusions for himself.
It is also important to support children in pursuing their dreams and goals, even if they seem impractical or unachievable. Parents should help children develop action plans and strategies to achieve their goals, and encourage them along the way.
When parents feel that their child is out of control, this is a “red flag”. If conversations no longer help, you should seek help from a child psychologist. The connection between the child and the parent has been broken somewhere.
The people closest to each other do not hear or understand each other.
It is much easier to prevent these consequences than to solve this issue later. But if the problems of “fathers and children” are currently particularly worrying your family, you should not expect that scandals or even greater prohibitions can solve anything.
Your actions must have a clear logic and strategy so that the child is not frustrated, but clearly understands the relationship between your words and decisions. The louder we try to convey our thoughts to children, the further they are from us.
Keep your emotions under control, communicate with your child.
This will allow him to become an independent and responsible person in the future, capable of making informed decisions and acting in accordance with his values and beliefs.
Earlier we listed 3 signs that are important for every woman to know.
Expert: Anastasia Kolpakova-Kalmykova
