Every person has to face criticism, starting from a conscious age.
The most harsh statements addressed to you are heard at school, university and at work.
Every person has the right to their own opinion and can express it when not asked. This article will tell you how to respond to unfounded condemnation.
Criticism and what it is like
Criticism is divided into constructive and destructive. Constructive criticism contains comments that are worth accepting.
Destructive statements are unfounded. A clear example is haters on social networks.
Many people are not inclined to share criticism and they treat it very negatively, perceiving only approval and praise.
In order to understand what kind of criticism is constructive, you need to know its signs:
• Details are specified, opinions are expressed not in general, but in specific points.
• Clear argumentation.
• The person is competent in the matter.
• No personal attacks.
The main difference of destructive criticism is that it is aimed at the individual, not at the action, the person is insulted and devalued. There is no benefit from this type of criticism and it is not worth taking into account.
The main signs of unfounded criticism are based on irrefutability, when statements have the character of a fact.
Most often they “dig into” details, without justification and without clear argumentation, resorting to personal attacks.
Rule #1: Your biggest critic is your own self.
It is believed that the cause of a painful reaction to criticism directed at oneself is low self-esteem and constant self-criticism.
Most often, this very self-criticism grows out of a feeling of unworthiness or worthlessness.
First of all, it is not the harsh statements that cause unpleasant feelings, but the fact that deep down a person considers himself to be exactly as bad as someone says.
It is important to understand that no one is perfect and everyone is worthy.
If the criticism is unfounded, then there is no point in worrying about it; you can’t please everyone.
When certain statements are truly true, then it is worth accepting them and listening to them, because justified criticism can be a driver for self-improvement, it is not for nothing that there is a saying “Slackers and whiners cannot stand criticism.”
Rule #2: The best defense is non-offense
The famous psychologist Dale Carnegie says that the main mistake of those who react sharply to criticism is justification, defense, or counter-aggression.
It often happens that some people are provocateurs and they just like to conflict, they get a boost of energy from it.
Responding to aggression with aggression is not the best option, because mature and self-sufficient individuals do not behave this way.
There is a special technique for responding to harsh and unfounded criticism - "Psychological Aikido".
This method will help you get away from the provocateur and extinguish the conflict at the initial stage. For example, when they say "You're stupid", you can answer "Sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean, I'm not very smart."
American President Abraham Lincoln said that it is better to let a barking dog go away than to let it bite you, because you can kill the dog, but the bite will remain.
Rule #3. A look from the other side
It is necessary to understand that many statements and comments are unfair and do not have a solid basis, and the person who speaks about this is envious or sees a competitor.
You need to be proud of yourself and analyze your life, it means you have something that others don’t have.
It is important to recognize a manipulator and an aggressor in time; most often, this is how attempts to increase self-esteem or self-affirmation are manifested at the expense of others.
The next thing to remember is that you don't have to be perfect. There will always be criticism, no matter what happens. As the saying goes, the dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.
You can't stop people from speaking, you can't please everyone, it's time to accept it. Reacting to criticism or condemnation is a personal matter.
The main thing is that all decisions are made according to conscience and find a response in the heart. If this is right, it is time to calm down.
It is always important to remember that you can always ask the critic about his motives.
No one forbids you to just talk to the person and find out everything. It often happens that the reason for criticism is resentment or misunderstanding.
Another important point is that you must always be self-critical and be able to look at yourself from the outside.
Respecting the opinions of others and being able to discuss them is a sign of an adult. The main trump card in case of unfounded criticism is calmness, composure and rationality.
The ability to respond competently and calmly will help avoid wasting unnecessary energy on a person who does not deserve it.
No one is immune to negative influences, but if such things come from a person too often, it’s time to think about your surroundings.
