Surely many people know firsthand how sometimes you want to call or write to your ex - fortunately, modern technologies help you do this with ease.
As a rule, an irresistible desire for communication arises after a certain dose of alcohol or on lonely evenings, especially on weekends and holidays.
Why is this happening?
Trauma needs time
Breakups are always painful and take time to process, no matter what the reasons for the breakup.
The usual way of life is disrupted, and, in addition to the natural state of melancholy, a person may initially experience a whole range of feelings: resentment, anger, disappointment, sadness, hostility, gratitude, etc.
Over time, the human psyche increasingly brings to the surface only pleasant, warm moments, hiding everything negative deeper. Since the ex is in the center of this tangle, you want to splash out everything that has accumulated on him - and ease your condition.
Why you shouldn't do this
Deep down, everyone knows that it's better not to call or write to their ex. However, in certain situations, the voice of reason is muffled, and feelings are so overwhelming that it's impossible to hold back.
And then it becomes humiliating and shameful. Analyzing the reasons why you shouldn't write or call your ex will help you stop in time.
Respect the present
Even if you were a couple in the past, now your ex may have a new love, new goals and plans. And even if you know for sure that he is alone, you should respect this choice.
Let go of the past
A person yearns first of all for relationships: the feeling of warmth and tenderness, love, comfort. No matter how blasphemous it may sound in a moment of despair, but all the same can be felt with another person - you just need to give a chance, first of all to yourself.
How to Stop Calling Someone You Broke Up With
Often in words everything looks quite simple, but in practice, at the moment when the soul is torn apart, it can be difficult to hold on. A few tips will help you not to do something that you will later regret.
• Understand yourself
Maybe the irresistible desire to call "here and now" is dictated by your inner child, acting up? Should you follow his lead, or is it time for a wise adult to appear?
You need to figure out what you're really missing and what exactly drives you when you want to renew contact with your ex.
Fear of the new, a feeling of loneliness, fear of new relationships – often only a psychologist can analyze your condition.
Do a big cleanse
Delete his number from your phone contacts and call and SMS history, clean up your messengers, delete him from social networks, unsubscribe from all accounts. The fewer options you have to instantly find him, the easier it is to give up the intention to contact him in some way.
Be careful with your conversations
When meeting mutual friends, it is worth avoiding conversations about the ex. If someone specifically tells you news about him, warms up your interest, reduce communication with such a person to zero.
Keep yourself busy
Throw yourself into work so you don't have time to worry during the day. Find a new hobby: drawing, ukulele lessons, modern dance classes, philosophical meetings, or something else for evenings and weekends.
The main thing is that life goes on and you don’t have too much time to feel sorry for yourself and have endless mental dialogues with your ex-partner.
Allow yourself to call, but in half an hour and not a minute earlier. During this time, you will be able to think about what you want to say (or write), the emotions will subside. At the same time, imagine what you might hear in response, and, probably, you will completely abandon this idea, so as not to lose your dignity.
Earlier we talked about how to learn to understand your man .
