Many people face the problem of fear of showdowns, disputes and conflicts.
This problem can occur both due to the nature of passivity and due to lack of confidence in one’s ability to convince the interlocutor of one’s rightness.
Often, people are afraid to confront another person, worried about how their words will be received and afraid of offending or hurting the other person.
However, all of these painful emotions can be overcome, and in this article we will focus on how to achieve this.
When we fear arguments and conflicts, we are giving in to our unconscious fears of the negative feelings they may cause.
The fear of being in a critical moment - like not knowing what to say - makes us indecisive and unsure of ourselves.
In such cases, instead of holding on to our own values and positions, we take a step back and miss the chance to solve problems.
The good news is that we can learn to feel more confident and less afraid of conflict.
The key to success is learning to control your emotions, trust yourself and your beliefs.
Techniques for Overcoming the Fear of Starting an Argument or Conflict Conversation
To overcome the fear of expressing your thoughts and stop endlessly going over your thoughts, you should use special techniques to learn to manage your emotions and fear of conflict.
Here are some of them:
• Check your fears: To understand why you are afraid of conflicts and arguments, you need to check your fears before you start the conversation. Ask yourself questions such as, what if I can’t defend my point of view? or what if the other person doesn’t accept my argument? Write down the answers on paper and deal with them before you start the conversation.
• Prepare for the conversation: Write down all the points you want to make before you start the conversation. This will help you formulate your thoughts more rationally and clearly, and will give you an additional sense of confidence.
• Listen and listen: in a conflict situation, it is important and necessary to learn to listen and understand the other side. Instead of insisting on your point of view, try to listen to the interlocutor, understand his arguments and objections, and while he speaks, concentrate on his words.
View conflicts as opportunities for personal and professional growth
Why Conflicts Can Sometimes Seem Scary, But Also Inevitable in Life
Problems in interpersonal interactions sometimes act as a source of energy for opportunities to improve relationships.
It can be said that conflicts are a normal occurrence in the process of change, movement forward and progress.
So, to stop being so afraid of open conversations, you can start thinking of them as growth opportunities that are necessary to develop your abilities.
Conflicts can be valuable experiences and help in understanding yourself and others. Learn to look at them from this angle and they will not be so difficult for you.
If you learn to accept conflict as a natural part of life, you will become more confident and relaxed during arguments and conversations.
You will be more open to criticism and thus understand the situation more deeply. At the same time, you will feel less stereotyped and can use these conflicts as an exploration and improvement of your skills.
Some useful strategies after a conflict has been resolved
Although conflict may seem emotionally and psychologically difficult, it can also provide significant emotional resources and help you improve your self-esteem.
Here are some helpful strategies to help you take full advantage of the positive experiences following conflict situations:
- Ask for feedback: Empathy and open communication are key to successfully navigating an argument. In turn, tell them what they taught you about yourself, others, or the situation itself.
- Use the aftermath of a conflict to improve the relationship between you and your colleagues: If the dispute was more serious, draw on your experience before initiating a new discussion. You may want to try to reach out to your colleagues to raise the issue on a new, more productive level.
- Engage in self-assessment: Regardless of the outcome, self-assessment is a necessary step in moving past conflict. Take time to assess your capabilities and set new goals that can help you perform at your best in the future.
Summary: How to Overcome the Fear of Conflict
In addition to the psychological side, it is also necessary to take into account and manage the properties that help overcome the fear of conflict.
A few key points:
- Welcome your fear and catch it in time: instead of running away from fear as if it came out of nowhere, try to identify the source of value or confidence that has become a leader for you in this situation.
- Learn to use your fear: Some people are able to use their fear to become more careful and cautious. If you have fear, use the advantages it gives you during an argument.
- Seek support in your close circles: Conflicts should not be experienced alone. If you are having difficulty communicating in the company you have chosen, do not hesitate to ask for help or support from people close to you.
- Finally, more often, start those conversations that you were afraid of before. Practice your voice and make sure that the things you do are usually not as scary as they seem at first.
Previously, we talked about how to deal with accumulated negativity and what effective methods exist for this.
