Just recently you were making plans for the future and promising to love each other until the end of your days.
And now - the break, the bitterness and the pain of loss.
Accepting and coming to terms with a breakup is a serious test.
A breakup with a loved one is always a blow to self-esteem. You have to experience the feeling of rejection and the fear of being of no use to anyone.
This is a serious test for the psyche. You shouldn't suppress your emotions and listen to advice like: "Forget about him!" You should live through what happened. How?
Allow yourself to grieve. Temporarily.
Many people block out their emotions after a breakup. They tell themselves, “Who is he that I should cry over him?” However, this is fundamentally wrong. You are mourning not only a specific person, but also your own losses.
The other extreme is to suffer for weeks and months without stopping. In this case, you can fall into an emotional hole from which it is difficult to get out.
Give yourself time to live through the grief. Decide whether it will be a week or a month. During this period, express your emotions as much as possible. But as soon as the designated period is over, tell yourself: “Stop! Time is up.” From this moment on, you need to start a new life.
Leave no trace
To help you get over a breakup, remove from sight all the things that might remind you of your past relationship. Your loved one's shirt in the closet, his mug in the kitchen, his razor in the bathroom.
Get rid of such things one day at a time. Don't keep something for memory or put it off for later - "I'll throw it away later".
It is advisable to change your favorite places where you are used to going together, habits that may remind you of your previous life. If necessary, your circle of acquaintances.
Completely refresh yourself
Psychologists recommend changing something in your appearance after negative events in life - your hairstyle, hair color. If you are not ready for something radical, at least cut off the ends of your hair. It is believed that they store accumulated negative energy.
In order to divide life into before and after, you can change your image. Review your wardrobe, habits, accessories. Become a different woman to open a new page in your life.
Avoid idleness
If you leave more free time than you need for relaxation, don't be surprised if you find yourself constantly thinking about your ex-lover.
Try to occupy every minute of your time. Work, interesting projects, hobbies, meetings with friends. In the first months after the breakup, it is advisable to fill your schedule to the brim, so that at home you have the strength for only one thing - going to bed.
Pamper, pamper and pamper yourself some more
When a child is sick, parents spoil him. It is believed that this way the body recovers faster. Transfer the situation to yourself: after a breakup, a person needs to be treated tenderly no less.
What do you want right now? Maybe it will be a delicious dish? Or a trip to the sea, a meeting with friends? Or maybe buying something? It takes time to heal wounds. But they will heal much faster if you take gentle care of yourself.
Don't make mistakes after a breakup
At first, it is difficult to let go of a person, and you often have to make mistakes that greatly hinder moving forward.
• Continue to be close to him
You may justify yourself by saying that you have mutual friends. But this does not allow you to break the emotional attachment.
• Maintain communication
Even if you decide to "stay friends", frequent conversations and correspondence will not let you forget him. This also includes checking his updates on social networks. No need to aggravate your wound.
• Talk about him
Even if you scold this person, it is as if he continues to be present in your life. The best thing is a neutral attitude.
• Immediately look for a new relationship
Without getting over the breakup, you risk making a new mistake.
Forgive and let go
It is important not only to let the man go, but also to forgive him. For this purpose, you can use the technique Meditation of Forgiveness.
Get into a comfortable position, light some candles. Start an imaginary dialogue with your ex-partner with the words: "I forgive you for..." A letter of forgiveness has the same power.
Write down your feelings and emotions about the breakup. End the message with the words, "I forgive you for everything." Do not send it to the recipient.
Earlier we talked about how to understand that a man is indifferent to a woman .
