People tend to idealize love and marriage.
At first, lovers admire each other. Each puts their needs in the background. The main thing is that they are together.
Over time, relationships become routine. Good qualities seem self-evident. Negative character traits and bad habits are revealed.
The partners have two options: try to live in a new way, compromise, or break up.
To preserve love and save your marriage, try to follow some rules:
Rule 1. If you feel unhappy, it is not your partner's fault. It is your expectations that do not match reality.
Take responsibility for your feelings. Don't blame your partner for your unhappiness.
Rule 2. Take responsibility for your desires. Express them clearly and understandably, but do not demand unconditional fulfillment.
Your partner may change something in their behavior. Or they may not do it, although they know your wishes. Then you will have to decide whether it is worth continuing the relationship.
In love and marriage, it is important that each person knows what is going on with the other. If you have been holding a grudge or anger for a long time, then any little thing can lead to an explosion. The partner does not understand your reaction. After all, he does not know that you have been suffering from dissatisfaction for a month.
Rule 3. Respect your partner. A relationship without respect for each other is a sure way to break up.
Rule 4. Every person is capable of love, but not everyone knows how to show their love the way their partner imagines.
There are many forms of expressing love.
Love is when he brings flowers and she cooks his favorite dish.
A sign of love can be criticism of a loved one. Only a deeply and sincerely loving person will not be afraid to say that he considers your behavior wrong. After all, in doing so he risks being rejected.
Rule 5. Support each other in your endeavors. In a successful marriage, everyone is given the freedom to develop and improve themselves.
The advantage of marriage is the opportunity to receive support and help in achieving the goal from a loved one.
Marriage is not entered into in order to find oneself in a worse situation than when a person is alone. There is no need to put forward prohibitions, egoistic demands, or limit freedom.
Ask divorced people what they see as positive about divorce. 90% of the time the answer will be: "I can finally do what I want."
.
Restricting freedom does not guarantee eternal love. Quite the opposite. You cannot force another person to love.
Rule 6: View your disagreements and conflicts as an inevitable part of your relationship.
The absence of conflicts is suspicious. It is impossible for two people to always agree on everything. Rather, the partners do not trust each other enough and are afraid to express their opinions.
Having an opinion does not mean declaring a merciless war. Speak up about your thoughts and attitudes, even if you are afraid that you will encounter misunderstanding. Listen to each other's opinions. Ask yourself how the problem can be solved.
Rule 7. Remember more often what you like about your chosen one. Evoke pleasant thoughts and feelings.
"Pamper" each other. Come up with pleasant surprises, bring joy, give pleasure.
Love and marriage do not stay with us forever, thanks to a miracle. They need to be taken care of every day. Then the union will be successful.
Remove romantic ideas and dangerous myths about love and marriage from your life.
A sober, conscious understanding of the nature of partnership and marriage will help to avoid many mistakes that often lead to unhappiness and separation.
We previously reported on how manipulators use lies to easily deceive others.
