Not every relationship has a happy ending.
Certainly, if people who live their whole lives with one partner, who was once their first.
But this is the exception to the rule in the search for a soulmate.
Some of the unions that are being created should be broken off as soon as possible, while others should be given a second chance. But how do you know that the union can be revived, so as not to make a mistake the second time?
Inner torment and step #1
This thought worries almost all people who are going through a breakup. First of all, it is necessary to calm your emotions.
Otherwise, chaos in the head and pain in the heart will not help to organize thoughts, turning life into a real nightmare.
In fact, a person always knows the answer to this question, but it is hidden deep in the subconscious. It is just not time yet to say it out loud.
The main dilemma is what the relationship was like. There are very unstable unions, when the couple quarreled every week, sorted things out, blamed each other, made peace, was incredibly happy and so on in a circle. This format of love is best closed forever. These "emotional roller coasters" will never lead to a happy ending.
So how do you find out the truth? Burn your bridges completely or try again? To answer these questions, you need to be honest with yourself and answer the necessary questions. Frankness in this matter is extremely important. After all, your own well-being is at stake.
Being Honest with Yourself and Step #2
These questions have been singled out by psychologists from a large number of therapies conducted for people who have experienced a difficult breakup. Only sincerity will provide answers to the tormenting questions about a joint future with an ex-partner.
• “Do I respect my partner and everything that was between us, regardless of how our relationship ended and what caused the breakup? Do I value the time we spent together? Do I feel gratitude?”
Respect is the basis of relationships in love between people. And in this matter, first of all, it is necessary to start with yourself and your behavior. Is a person ready to take responsibility for everything that happened and for the breakup itself? A big plus can be that the union ended on a positive note. This directly indicates that the partners respected each other, did not stoop to insults and personal attacks.
To understand whether there is respect for the partner as a person, gratitude for everything that was, you need to give yourself time and calm down well. Perhaps there will be an understanding that the breakup was a mistake, and this is a good sign for restoring the union.
• “Do I want to get back into the relationship because I’m afraid of being alone or do I really care about this person?”
After a breakup, even if it was betrayal, a person wants to return the relationship. He misses the physical shell, the laughter, the smell. He wants to return to the times when they were happy. But what is the real motivation in this matter?
It is important that it is based on true love, and not fear of a new life in a single status. This is especially true for women who have left a union and filled their heads with thoughts that no one will like them anymore and will remain alone, with unfulfilled dreams of a happy family.
And this is a huge mistake, because nothing in behavior and priorities will change, the relationship will crack again, and time will be lost. Perhaps with such an attitude you need to give yourself more time to rethink your life and views.
Breaking up is a difficult process. But deciding whether to resume or end a relationship is even more difficult.
A person needs to be as honest with himself as possible, conduct an internal dialogue and decide what is more important for him. Only then will an answer to the tormenting question on which his own happiness depends appear.
