The turning of keys in the lock, the rustling of bags, the sound of a slammed door. The parents returned home from work.
The heart is pounding, the excitement is rolling over me in a strong wave: now mom will scold me when she finds out. Maybe I should hide the diary? I can't hold back the tears anymore, there's another bad mark in red ink on the margins.
Anastasia Mikhailovna Kolpakova-Kalmykova spoke about how fair the grading system is and what the teacher relies on.
Since childhood, we have all been scared that any grade other than an A is a direct road to becoming a janitor (even though it is valuable, hard work). As adults, we understand that grades can be subjective and depend on many factors, including the individual views of the teacher.
Excellent student complex
The introduction of a five-point grading scale in schools is usually associated with the desire to simplify and standardize the process of assessing academic achievement.
This system helps to more clearly express the level of knowledge and understanding of students, facilitating communication between students, parents and teachers.
Despite its prevalence, the five-point grading scale system also has its drawbacks.
The pressure to achieve top grades can create stress and competition, which negatively impacts student learning and motivation.
Children develop an excellent student complex, which in the future becomes a big obstacle to self-realization. Such adults are afraid to make a mistake, to start something new in their lives, because no one told them “how to do it right”. The desire to get results from your activities is a productive skill.
Any task you undertake, you should strive to do, at a minimum, well, at a maximum, better than many. And this is not about neurasthenia.
It's about searching, collecting information, analyzing and ultimately other solutions, other approaches. And the pleasure of it. What's scary is the excesses, not just the desire to do your job well.
The key point of the problem in assessing the student's knowledge is not the five-point system. What is more important is the attitude of adults, parents and teachers to it. You can draw circles, triangles and other geometric figures, give them meaning, which will be equivalent to a two, three, four.
Behind the fear and negativity towards any grades other than “excellent” is a ban on mistakes. If only we treated “2” grades as an indicator of “try another way to solve the problem.”
For example, in the online school “SOtvorchestvo” we introduced a grading system by colors. At first, students and parents were neutral about it. But over time, “orange” became equal to the same “two”.
That's why we introduced a different method, namely a comment system. The teacher indicates where everything went well, and what task or topic should be emphasized and tried again. The student receives not just a grade, but instructions for action where exactly he needs to figure it out.
The assessment is not equal
Negative evaluation can affect self-confidence and self-esteem, especially if grades are seen as an indicator of personal worth. A child may feel that getting a bad grade is unfair, especially if he or she is confident in his or her efforts.
“He can do better” is practically a spell that demotivates a diligent student. At some point, the child stops proving anything to anyone and abandons his studies altogether.
No matter how hard he tries, he can't reach the coveted A. Stress from bad grades will lead to neurosis, and it will lead to worsening sleep and eating habits. The student has neither the physical nor the moral strength to get out of this vicious circle.
Most schools currently have a point-rating system, where each grade has its own “weight.” An A for homework and an A for classwork are not equal grades.
The most “difficult” grade is considered to be the grade for the test. At the end of each quarter, all the points are added together. With this approach, the final independent work ceases to be the “final sentence”, which is fairer.
A child may try hard all year but get nervous during an exam. Constant failures can lead to a negative attitude towards learning and a decrease in self-confidence.
On the other hand, teachers have to explain at almost every parent-teacher meeting why a particular student was given a failing grade. Teachers are forced to follow strict grading standards, where the slightest shortcomings and even blots are taken into account.
How should parents react?
Getting a bad grade is like a nasty blow on all fronts. Parents are disappointed again, and the child feels the tension building.
Often, their demands are based on their own unfulfilled ambitions. When mom and dad start expressing their dissatisfaction, their child feels that they are being blamed for something.
But the truth is that there are many reasons for bad grades: academic difficulties, personal problems, or just stress. Children want to be understood that it is not the end of the world, but an opportunity to figure out what went wrong.
It is important for parents to respond to their child's poor grades with understanding and support. Instead of strict reprimands, it is worth:
- Discuss the reasons: Talk to your child to understand why he or she got bad grades.
- Express your understanding and support. It is important for a child to know that his parents support him even in difficult situations.
- Focus not only on the results, but also on the effort the child put into learning the material.
- Develop an action plan with your child to improve academic performance based on his or her individual needs.
Avoid comparisons with other children. Each child is unique, and comparisons can cause negative emotions.
Provide resources and support that can help your child overcome learning difficulties. This could include extra classes of various formats.
A parent must understand and be able to adequately assess the child’s level if he teaches himself, or there must be a teacher nearby who knows how to do this.
It is important and necessary to compare, but not with other children, but with the result you want to get. But for this, it is worthwhile to understand well WHAT the result will be.
The parent's job is not to judge, but to help. Beyond the reaction to evaluation, it's worth emphasizing the importance of failure as an opportunity to grow and learn from one's mistakes.
By reacting painfully to bad grades every time, you distance yourself from your child and create complexes in him and drive him into the framework of ideal behavior.
This does not mean that you should leave everything to chance. It is important that the child feels that you are not only focused on the grade, but are interested in his inner state and personal development.
Together, you can turn this negative moment into a positive experience by emphasizing that failure in school is not the end, but a new stage in learning and growth. The most important thing for our children is a sense of happiness and unconditional love, and this has nothing to do with grades.
Situation of success
There should be a beginning and a clear end goal in learning. Then everything that comes your way is just big and small obstacles. It is important to teach a child to enjoy achieving a result, and most importantly, overcoming difficulties. It is not scary to make a mistake, it is scary to stop trying.
Previously, we talked about how to stop getting stuck in the past and start enjoying life today.
Expert: Anastasia Kolpakova-Kalmykova
