What Not to Do in a Relationship: 3 Behavior Models That Can Destroy the Happiness of Any Couple

Renowned psychologist Erik Erikson believed that the most important task at a young age is to learn how to create strong romantic relationships.

It has been proven that healthy relationships promote good health and emotional well-being of partners, create a sense of security that helps in dealing with life's difficulties. Therefore, it is important to know what can spoil and destroy relationships.

Psychologists identify three patterns of behavior that should be avoided in order to maintain love and happiness.

Avoiding requests, keeping silent about problems

People, especially those who grew up in difficult circumstances, may have a hard time asking for things or even talking about themselves.

Many people worry that they are burdening their loved one with their concerns and are afraid of seeming annoying and irritating. However, avoiding requests, keeping silent about needs and desires has a detrimental effect on the relationship in the long term.

A situation is created in which one partner distrusts the other so much that they hide their needs and desires, and actually refuse to share some of their experiences. At the same time, the relationship becomes unequal: the needs of one partner are put above the other, while the other is ignored and not voiced. Gradually, this behavior pattern destroys the intimacy between lovers.

The habit of not apologizing

The ability to apologize is a skill that is acquired throughout life. Although all adults are familiar with the words "sorry" and "forgive me," in reality, many do not like and do not know how to apologize.

This problem is especially relevant for those who grew up in families where parents did not apologize to each other or did so formally. A sincere apology can heal a relationship and remind partners that everyone makes mistakes, but most mistakes can be corrected.

So how do you properly apologize to a romantic partner? It's pretty simple: acknowledge the mistake and take a break, without immediately jumping to excuses and explanations.

This signals to your partner that the apology is serious and that their feelings are respected. If your partner asks for an explanation, then you can begin to tell the story. In the end, you should discuss together how to correct the mistake.

Saying "I'm sorry" or "I'm sorry" is better than saying nothing, but it's often not enough. Unforgiven and uncorrected mistakes can accumulate and erode relationships.

Frequent refusal to participate in joint activities

When one partner reaches out to the other and is rejected or ignored, cracks appear in the relationship.

In life, it may look like this: A woman is waiting for her lover to come home from work, she is happy to see him, and is filled with the desire to plan the weekend.

At dinner, she suggests going out for dinner on Friday or going hiking on Saturday and Sunday. However, her partner is so exhausted after the work week that he can't think of any activity at that moment, he just wants to sleep. To the suggestion, he will answer: "Well, I don't know, I'm not sure" or "I'm tired, I just want to rest."

In this example, the man's desire to relax is certainly easy to understand. However, he should know that his beloved does not so much want to go somewhere, but simply wants to spend time with him.

Instead of saying no outright or giving a vague, unenthusiastic answer, he might suggest a different plan to his partner. He might say, "I'd love to spend the weekend with you. Maybe we can do something quiet? I'm too tired from work to go hiking. We can order takeout and watch a movie on Friday, and then do something else on the weekend."

So, it is important to remember: behind any suggestion to do something together, there is usually a simple desire to spend time together. By suggesting something, the partner first of all says: "I miss you, I want to spend more time with you." Joint plans can be anything, the main thing is to let the partner know that he is desired and interesting.

Relationships are an important part of life for most people. To keep love, you need to avoid the three behavior patterns described above, because over time they can destroy the happiness of any couple.

Earlier we talked about how to get along with a stubborn husband .