Narcissists and gaslighters love to manipulate.
However, if you look at your partner through the famous "rose-colored glasses", you may not notice for a long time that you are dealing with a manipulator. Here are 8 of the most typical signs of manipulators.
The manipulator wants to know when and where you are
Citing concerns about your safety, your partner wants to activate location services on your phone.
Ask yourself, is the situation in the city really so dangerous that you can only go to the store if your loved one knows about it?
Perhaps your partner wants to know about your every move because he or she doesn't trust you and wants to control you.
Rudeness is justified by love
Love should make a person better. But if it becomes unbearable, aggressive and dangerous, then it is not love, but a crude attempt to control the partner.
This often happens with jealous people. The partner's mood changes dramatically if a new handsome colleague appears at your work or a passerby smiles at you.
The manipulator says he can't live without you.
If all your partner's interest is focused on you and you become the meaning of his life, this can not only irritate and frighten, but also show that you are dealing with a manipulator. Sometimes such behavior is seasoned with the partner's desire to rid you of all friends so that you devote all your free time only to him.
The manipulator will try to change you to his liking.
The best part about gift giving is when your partner takes into account your tastes and interests to find something you like. But a gift is not always a sign of attention.
Perhaps your partner is trying to change you to suit his tastes by choosing the “right” clothes and interior items that will make you more pleasing to him.
The manipulator tries to limit your life to family
It may seem crazy, but starting a family can be a tool for manipulation. The plans of two partners for the future may differ. Partners should not manipulate each other with thoughts about children.
If your partner wants you to take care only of the family, that is, of him and the children, this is pure manipulation.
The manipulator often uses flattering words
Flattery is the most powerful weapon you can use to win someone over. But if your partner compares you to others or visually directs you in one direction to achieve something, then they are simply trying to manipulate you.
The manipulator treats you like a child
Some people act in relationships as if their partner were a five-year-old child. This "child" is raised using a system of punishments and rewards.
Moreover, they may use offensive and aggressive jokes and are very surprised when the "little one" is offended. The goal of such behavior is to make you doubt your strength and abilities and rely on him in everything.
You feel guilty about arguments.
There is no relationship without quarrels. They say that the person who makes the first move and apologizes values the relationship more. However, there are different types of apologies.
Manipulators shift blame or apologize in a way that makes you feel bad, as if it was all your fault.
Earlier we explained why you can’t dye your hair in February.
Expert: Elena Gutyro
