When it comes to marriage, most people focus on the positive emotions, and that's okay.
Many people don't think about their relationship with their partner's parents before marriage and only later realize that they are dealing with potentially toxic people.
This article tells you how to recognize the signs that your partner's parents are really having a negative impact on your life and how to deal with it.
They are trying to pit you against each other.
When your partner's parents regularly try to push you apart, you need to take action. Otherwise, such a situation can cause serious misunderstandings and confusion between the young people.
In this case, you need to act together. The best way is to talk to your partner and tell them what is going on.
Moreover, you should express your feelings towards your parents in a calm and respectful manner.
They have a say in your decisions.
There are some parents who are too pushy and insistent, although they are nice. However, if they interfere with your decisions as if their opinions have the same weight as yours, then there is a problem.
Whether you're arguing about what house to buy or when to have children, parents really don't have a say in these matters.
If you and your partner have different positions on a certain issue, then the situation is quite real. The main thing here is to make an action plan to get rid of intrusive advice.
They are doing you harm.
Some people take a long time to understand and accept someone, and you may never find 100% understanding with the "old people".
There is nothing wrong with this, because a healthy adult will get used to such a situation.
However, when parents say and do things that cause pain, they cross the line.
With your partner's support, you can try to explain that their words and actions hurt your feelings. But if that doesn't work, the best solution is to limit your contact with them and let your family know that you won't allow them to treat you like that.
They treat you like a child
It's nice when people see us as a child again. But if your partner's parents make important decisions for you and consider your thoughts naive, the situation becomes more complicated.
Let them know that you appreciate their help, but you can handle it yourself. Discuss the problem with your partner, find out their opinion.
If both partners agree that the parents are overreacting, it's a good idea to decide how best to deal with it. After a few attempts by the young couple to stand up for themselves, parents sometimes change their behavior.
Otherwise, you shouldn't take such things to heart, you're unlikely to be able to change such a common situation. After all, parents are often jealous of their child's partner, afraid of losing him, afraid that the partner will bring discord into the usual family relationships.
They do not respect intimate areas.
It happens that a mother-in-law has a habit of dropping in on her daughter-in-law without warning, or a father-in-law expects his son to play chess with him until late at night every Friday.
By denying respect and violating the personal space of young people, parents thus complicate the situation.
First, you need to discuss the problem with your partner and identify the reasons for your parents' behavior. Sometimes understanding the motives helps you act respectfully and effectively.
To make things easier, it is recommended to set a specific time each week or month for family meetings.
Earlier we wrote about how to quarrel correctly .
Expert: Elena Gutyro
