It is difficult to find an ideal person, because such people do not exist. For this reason, there are cases when a girl builds relationships with several men at once, finding something special in each one.
If their qualities were combined in one partner, then this would be the ideal person.
And the young lady finds herself in a trap. Sooner or later a decision will have to be made. And it is often not simple, so psychologists give their advice to those who find it difficult to make a choice.
Determine the seriousness of each man's intentions
One young man can sincerely show his sympathy, make serious promises and even promise to marry. It is easy to build relationships with such a person and feel like you are behind a stone wall.
At the same time, he is very sociable, does not like to sit still, it is very interesting to be with him.
The other may, on the contrary, be modest and uncommunicative. At the same time, his behavior reveals a person who is constant, purposeful and reliable, he says little about the future, but makes it clear that it will be shared. Each of the two is interesting in his own way, especially at a particular moment. But you need to understand how much words correspond to actions.
Portrait of an ideal man
It is necessary to make a list of qualities that the future chosen one should have. And then each of the candidates for this role should be checked for compliance with these criteria, using a point scale.
This assessment will allow you to see the correct solution without unnecessary emotions, the main thing is to give points honestly.
"Look" into the future
Psychologists advise imagining the union with each of the partners after several years.
How will the relationship be built, will a family be created, will children appear or will each build their own career, moving away from each other. Such an analysis is difficult to conduct competently, but it is still worth trying.
Find out more about the Cavaliers' parents
The relationship between a son and his mother will help him understand how he will treat his wife in the future.
Exceptions, of course, happen, but more often than not, men build their communication with their chosen one in the same way as with their mother.
Assess the importance of relationships with each candidate
It is worth considering how positively the relationship with each person affects the girl’s life.
Does the chosen one rejoice in his girlfriend’s victories, does he help her in word and deed on her path to success, does he try to help her develop in life.
Such a person is worthy of attention. After all, there are people who strive to isolate their beloved from society, considering her only a keeper of the hearth, destined for raising children and doing housework.
Such “care” will eventually turn into a cage from which it will not be easy to escape.
"Cons" of each
In addition to positive qualities, everyone has negative ones, it is very important to consider how critical they are for the girl.
It is also worth making a list of what is repulsive about the young man and assessing the possibility of accepting these points.
If at the beginning of a relationship something seems unacceptable, over time it will become very annoying and the degree of rejection will only increase, because the period of falling in love, when you see only the best in your loved one, will pass.
Circle of friends
It is worth taking a closer look at the comrades with whom a man has friendly relations. Firstly, because the chosen one partly possesses the qualities of his friends.
And, secondly, it is important that these people are decent and do not create problems in the relationship with the man himself.
Past
Particular attention should be paid to the fact if the gentleman has previously been married and has children.
Relationships with a divorced person require special sensitivity and patience; he will definitely pay attention to the children and see his ex-wife, which can create difficulties.
Some men know how to find a compromise so that the new wife does not feel slighted. But a lot will depend on her, whether she is ready to share her chosen one with someone else, even if these are his children.
It is not easy to choose one man from several. It is important to understand with whom you feel comfortable. Who can create conditions for a future happy life together, whose shortcomings can be accepted.
You shouldn't be in several relationships at the same time for a long time, because the situation will simply drag the girl down and there is a high risk that each of the partners will find out about the existence of the rival and will not be able to accept the betrayal.
If after careful analysis the choice still cannot be made, it is worth giving preference to the person who appeared in the woman's life later. After all, with great love for the first, she would not allow a relationship with the second.
Earlier we reported on how to learn to argue effectively .
Expert: Elena Gutyro
