We all want our relationships to have a happy ending in the form of a diamond wedding.
However, the truth remains that separations, i.e. divorces, are a very common occurrence in our society.
"The main reasons people break up are poor communication, infidelity, financial problems, resentment, or general disharmony in the relationship," says psychotherapist Brooke Bralow.
Divorces are especially difficult for partners and are sometimes spiced with dirty laundry, unnecessary arguments and unpredictable behavior.
"Many couples approach the divorce process with resentment and disappointment due to unmet needs. This is what often prompts partners to create conflicts in the divorce process," Bralove notes, adding that there are couples who manage to get a good divorce.
If breakups are a hot topic for you too, then you can follow some tips that will help you deal with breakups without unnecessary conflicts.
Don't expect the worst
Many people during a divorce or separation feel like their ex-partner is out to ruin their life.
This affects your behavior towards your partner. So don’t view your ex-boyfriend as a villain who is out to hurt you. Instead, treat him as an equal player.
Don't let your emotions control you
You shouldn't let your heart rule your head during a breakup. "Talk to your partner the way you want to be talked to," Bralov recommends.
He adds, however, that you should always tell the truth. “There is no room for games during a breakup. It is too painful a process, so you both deserve to be treated with respect and kindness,” adds the Well and Good therapist.
Focusing on priorities
"Partnerships require a lot of compromise. And the same goes for breakups or divorces. So make an imaginary list of priorities you want to achieve, and don't dwell on other points unnecessarily," says the therapist.
Unfortunately, sometimes you have to compromise your aspirations and ideals.
Set healthy boundaries
Separation or divorce is a new chapter in your story. This means that you should not expect the same level of contact or intimacy that was an integral part of your relationship in the past. Therefore, it is important that you begin to build a new type of relationship with your ex-partner.
"When you were partners, you probably texted each other at all hours of the day. But after a breakup, set new boundaries that don't infringe on your privacy," Bralov urges.
Express gratitude
When breaking up, many women forget that they also had wonderful moments with their ex-partner.
So, if there comes a time when you see your ex-boyfriend trying, helping you, or making a step towards you, don't forget to thank him.
“Expressing gratitude is the least you can do at this moment,” the therapist adds.
Earlier we talked about phrases that undermine relationships .
Expert: Anastasia Kovrizhnykh
