How would men live without the opposite sex? They would wear the same clothes and never shave, eat only meat, never tear themselves away from the TV during football matches and live in half-empty apartments.
They are not very picky creatures, but at the same time they are the ones who invent, create, build, so that this world would be more comfortable. Why? It is clear that for women.
A woman is a source of inspiration for a man, but when she begins to live for him, she prevents him from performing feats for her and thus spoils him.
Relationships are a staged process: hunger, saturation, oversaturation and disgust. Wise wives do not keep their husbands hungry, but they do not bring the relationship to oversaturation either. Because hunger makes you eat whatever you can get your hands on, and if you eat what you want for a long time, oversaturation sets in.
What mistakes do women make when they get married that ultimately end in tears and sometimes even divorce?
Complaints about husband to parents
It is useless to speak ill of your mother-in-law's husband. He is her son, so she will always feel sorry for him. If you complain to your parents, they will start to worry a lot. Do you need that? It is better to complain about your husband to your husband himself.
A wise woman always keeps her other half in good shape: she tells her what she is not happy with and praises her when she likes something. And she doesn’t just say compliments or words of gratitude, but demonstrates how pleased she is.
By turning a blind eye to actions that irritate you, you reinforce the man's confidence that everything is fine in your relationship. As a result, he will be calm, and you will accumulate discontent until it spills over into nervousness.
Everything that you are not happy with needs to be spoken out. This method helps to relieve accumulated tension.
If you talk about what's bothering you with your husband, there's a chance that the problems will not only lose their negative connotation, but will also start to be resolved little by little. You can also complain to your girlfriends.
Your spouse will suffer less of your discontent. If you don't notice the good, the effect will be about the same: the man will stop trying, and the woman will not understand why he doesn't want to do anything for her at all. And the answer is simple: he does something, you remain silent, if he doesn't do it, you remain silent too: why invent unnecessary tasks for yourself.
The fight for equality
If a woman fights for equality, she must be ready to become a partner to her man. And partnership is when everything is divided in half.
Imagine a man invited you to a restaurant and at the end of the evening asked you to pay half the bill. Would you take it normally or would you think he was stingy? It's about equality.
Not everyone feels happy in a partnership: a woman stops enjoying what she creates herself, a man loses his leading role and cannot feel the joy that his friends experience when they manage to hide some money and spend it on themselves.
Recognizing your partner as a leader does not mean losing your own opinion. It means allowing a man to think that he has the last word. A wife should say what she needs, and a husband should think about how to give it to her.
A woman's desires inspire a man and help him expand his boundaries.
It is impossible to stand still when small but feats are expected of you. In partnerships, everyone gets exactly as much as they give. In a family where equality reigns, a man is unlikely to change, because his partner will not take him beyond the limits of comfort.
Lack of faith in marriage
When buying a dress, a woman tries it on several times, compares it with other dresses, thinks whether she needs it or not. No one buys things they don't like, fearing that everyone will choose and there will be nothing to wear.
There is always someone better in this world, but competition should be before marriage. When a woman marries "because the time has come", she remains unmarried.
She starts comparing her husband to others. The husband is not inspired by such behavior, so when a woman comes his way who tells him that he is the best, he jumps from one relationship to another. He will never be able to become what his wife would like him to be anyway.
Husbands leave their mistresses not because they are sexier than their wives, but because they want to feel like heroes again.
A woman who does not pay attention to any weaknesses of her partner, but is able to discern in him qualities worthy of admiration, will be perceived by a man as the main treasure.
Expecting happiness from a husband
If you are the woman who dreams of marrying a wealthy man and never having to work, and the man is broadcasting that he needs a fighting girlfriend, say “no.”
A woman is made happy by her friends, parents, hobbies, new acquaintances, courtship, learning new skills, traveling and any bright impressions.
If she sits and thinks that she needs to be patient for a little while. He will soon come and change her life, then nothing may happen. The man will meet, but if the woman is unhappy deep down and does not know what she wants from life, there is a risk that he will make her even more unhappy, since he will not live up to her expectations.
To live interestingly, there must be love, friends, like-minded people, and some kind of occupation in life. Working does not mean working like a horse. Not working does not mean sitting at home in an old dressing gown.
The desire to "re-educate"
When a kitten appears in the family, everyone has a rough idea of what kind of animal it is. At least, everyone clearly understands that it will not sit on the toilet, so they buy a litter box for it.
New owners take into account that the cat will shed, but do not wrap it with tape. But when a person gets a creature of the opposite sex, for some reason he forgets to take into account its features.
If you tell a man every day, "I want you to be more assertive," he won't turn on his "boldness" function to fix a trait that doesn't satisfy you. It doesn't work that way.
Women get married knowing about men's shortcomings, but they firmly believe that the person next to them will definitely change. But men change only in one case: if they themselves decide to change something in their lives.
All that women can do is create conditions in which it would be beneficial for the partner to take a step forward. And the main rule that guarantees success is as follows: stop commanding and performing male duties. Having become strong, a woman deprives a man of the opportunity to act.
When starting a family, everyone wants to find happiness. Otherwise, women wouldn't be so eager to get married, and men wouldn't get depressed because they have everything, but there's no one to live and try for.
However, it is in family relationships that a person can experience the greatest disappointment. Why can't a man and a woman exist separately, and when they come together, they separate?
The biggest mistake men make is to think that the woman living next to them will never change. The mistake women make is the exact opposite: to think that a man will definitely change for her sake.
A man has two innate desires: to remain himself and to be needed. If you can combine these things, you will receive ten times more than you ask for.
We previously wrote about how to survive a midlife crisis .
Expert: Elena Gutyro
