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How to Help a Child Survive Divorce: Advice for Parents
29.03.2024 05:10
Divorce brings pain to all family members.
While adults can hide their emotions and immerse themselves in work, children experience their parents’ divorce painfully.
Accepting the fact that mom and dad are not together is difficult at any age. The man and woman will face condemnation from society, because the family has been destroyed.
But the main task of parents is to explain to the child why they no longer live together and to help them survive the psychological consequences of divorce.
Showing attention
Children tend to escape from reality, hiding pain behind games. A child may show that he doesn’t care about what’s happening, but inside he closes himself off from reality.
This is how the protective reaction of the psyche manifests itself. Parents should notice changes in the child's behavior in time.
To prepare a child for divorce and minimize the consequences, you need to talk. Conversations should be positive. In no case should you blame your spouse for the divorce in front of your child, even if that is true.
Mom and dad got divorced, but not the child and parents. It is important to explain to the child that parental love will not diminish.
Don't shift responsibility
Often parents blame their child for the divorce. They say that he is the reason, but behind these accusations they hide their own helplessness in the face of the situation.
You can't shift responsibility onto your child by taking it out on them. Listening to reproaches addressed to them, children close themselves off. A feeling of uselessness appears and guilt for the collapse of their parents' marriage remains forever.
Don't put yourself in front of a choice
The mistake many parents make is pulling the rope in their favor. After getting divorced, mothers begin to forbid their fathers to see their children. But communication with both parents is important for a child. Mom and dad have become strangers to each other, but they are still the closest people to the child.
A small child needs to be explained that dad no longer lives in the same house with mom, but he will come to visit. You shouldn't lie about dad being a "hero of the fatherland". The lie will be revealed, and the response will be anger and mistrust.
Show respect to each other
No matter how difficult the divorce is, it is important to come out of it as people who respect each other. Mutual nagging, public showdowns – this is not what a child should hear.
It is important for children to see how, in such a difficult situation, mom and dad remain worthy people of whom they can be proud.
Parents are a source of imitation. An exhausting, stressful divorce leaves an imprint on a child's memory.
Aggression and fear of being rejected by the opposite sex may appear later. Therefore, it is important for mom and dad to end the marriage on a calm note. Without love, but with respect.
Previously, it was reported what divorced women regret.
