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Honey, I Need a Break: How to Take a Break in Your Relationship the Right Way
08.01.2024 05:10
Relationships are not an easy walk in the park, so sometimes there comes a point when we don’t know which direction to go next.
We try to sort out our feelings, think about the future and don't know what to do with ourselves. And then there is a pause.
Whether you're thinking about taking a break from your relationship or have already hit a dead end, one thing is clear: a break from your relationship isn't for everyone. That's why it's important to think about what you want from a break from your relationship, as well as how you should conduct yourself during the break.
Will this help your relationship?
Are you irritated by your partner's perpetually confused look? Are you angry that he didn't clear the teacup from the table? Are you driven crazy when he doesn't answer your call? There comes a point in every relationship when the slightest problem can drive you crazy.
"If you start to feel like you're behaving in a way that's hurting your partner, then you're in a crisis in your relationship," says psychotherapist Racine Henry, adding that such issues need to be addressed.
But nowhere does it say that choosing a pause as a way to solve a problem goes hand in hand with conflict. In many life situations, a person simply needs to be alone.
"Sometimes you need to take time out for friends, family, health, or a challenging task at work," Henry says.
If this is not a breakup, then what is it?
One of the biggest problems when you take a break from your relationship is that couples don't behave the same way.
While for one person a break may mean flirting with others, exploring the single life and completely detaching from their partner, for another it is a time when the main focus is on themselves and their personal development.
“I see a break as a time when I am not responsible for my partner’s feelings because I need to focus on my own feelings.
This means that at such moments we do not fulfill the duties of good partners. We temporarily distance ourselves from each other in order to calm down, sort out our feelings and restore our strength. A pause is not necessarily a sign that the relationship is coming to an end," the psychotherapist explains.
If you and your partner have already decided to take a break, you've probably thought about how long that break should be. Unfortunately, a lack of time can often do more harm than good.
"The person asking for a break from the relationship may feel pressured to only have four weeks to sort out their thoughts. The other person, in turn, may believe that everything will be fine by that date," warns Racine Henry.
At the same time, it is important not to prolong the break indefinitely. A relationship therapist advises to call or see your partner regularly. Then you will be able to feel when a break no longer makes sense.
Certain rules are the basis of success
There is no one right way, so each couple should determine what rules they will follow during the break. “Write a list of your concerns, questions, and demands. Make sure you are both clear about what you expect from the break,” the therapist advises.
Likewise, it is essential that you and your partner clearly define whether your relationship will remain monogamous during the break. This is the only way to avoid potential problems and disagreements.
A break can help
If you need to reboot your love and give it a new impetus, then a break in the relationship can really work. But it is important that both partners perceive the break as a time to recharge and sort out their thoughts.
Try to approach the pause responsibly, do not violate the previously established rules and, most importantly, do not lose interest in your partner. This is the only way to achieve the desired effect.
Previously, we talked about how to understand that it’s time to break up .
