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How to say "no" and not be afraid to offend
28.04.2024 17:30
Updated: 12.05.2024 23:58
People don't know how to say "no". This word makes them panic and even fear.
Afraid to refuse, a person sacrifices his time and energy, without even thinking about the consequences this refusal may lead to. First, you need to analyze the reasons for the reluctance to refuse.
The most common reason for the fear of rejection is precisely in a person's character. Such people, as a rule, are quite insecure, very often with increased nervous excitability.
They are very concerned about what others think of them. And the environment, realizing that such a person can be "ridden", willingly begins to take advantage of this, shamelessly manipulating him.
The most interesting thing is that such weak-willed people are very happy to even help, since they depend on someone else’s opinion and someone’s praise.
Such a person always puts the needs of others first, and their own second. Therefore, to start saying no, you need to go a long way: first, stop wanting to please everyone, then start putting yourself and your needs above others. To say "no", you need to really want it and start acting.
Once the reason for the fear is understood, you can begin to use techniques that will help you refuse at the right moment.
"Just a refusal"
At first, if the word "no" seems too categorical and strict, you can start saying "I don't want to." This phrase may, of course, hurt the interlocutor, but it will emphasize the real reason for the refusal, that is, unwillingness.
Rarely in such cases can a person ask the reason for the refusal, because it has already been stated in the answer.
If you are asked the question "why?", you need to answer with several compelling reasons. This way, they will not seem like excuses, and the other person will not start to put pressure on your self-esteem, trying to manipulate, or will not be able to prove the opposite, that all the reasons for refusal are easily resolved.
In fact, the best refusal will sound like this: “I don’t want to, because I have no desire to do this.” This will throw the other person off balance and the next potential attacks from his side will be useless.
"Change of situation"
There is another powerful technique that will help you refuse – it is a reversal of the situation. What does this mean? You need to make the person who asked you to do something refuse his own request.
An example will make it clearer. There is a situation: person A asks person B to do some written work for him, for example, an essay.
Person B replies: "I can do it, but only in a month and a half, because it is not in my schedule." And then person A refuses, because it is inconvenient for him. So person B gets out of this situation unscathed, he did not refuse, he simply said that he would take on the work later.
There are a number of other different ways to opt out, but these are the most popular and easiest.
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