Content
How to communicate with unpleasant people and not quarrel
25.04.2024 13:10
In life you have to deal with a wide variety of people.
Not all of them are likeable and that's okay.
But what if the person you have to interact with is so unpleasant that enduring contact with him is a real test of nerves?
Why are people unpleasant?
Some individuals cause tension by their very presence. There may be several reasons for this.
Many psychologists in cases of unconscious hostility talk about so-called shadow projections. The concept of "shadow" in psychology was introduced by K. Jung. This term means a set of certain qualities that a person observes in himself and wants to get rid of them. When he notices manifestations of these qualities in someone else, he projects his hatred onto their bearer.
Other experts explain this phenomenon by mental trauma, the memories of which were repressed into the unconscious. Then a person will involuntarily experience disgust for everything connected with the traumatic moment, and an unpleasant person can somehow remind him of the experience.
But the simplest (and usually the most correct) interpretation of such hostility is the inability to set one's own boundaries. Constant frustration due to their regular violation results in irritation at violators and a desire to fence oneself off from those to whom one cannot say "no".
Why Stopping Communication Is Not a Solution
Communication in the modern world is an integral part of daily activities. With technological progress, it is becoming easier to "reach" each other.
The paradox of the situation is that as communication becomes more accessible, its price also increases. People pay with their own time and emotional state, because both the number of desired interlocutors and the frequency of unwanted contacts increases.
Sometimes it is possible to successfully avoid a burdensome interaction, but sometimes it is not possible. In addition, reducing contacts with everyone who for some reason you do not like threatens to eventually lead to complete social isolation.
A much better solution would be to learn the skills of communicating with annoying people.
This also means a number of advantages:
1. Reducing stress levels during communication;
2. Improving social skills in general;
3. Increased self-esteem and authority in the eyes of others.
It is important to remember that no one is obliged to love everyone. The point is not to love an unsympathetic person, but to learn to find a common language with him and avoid situations that threaten conflict.
What to do
If contact with an unpleasant person cannot be avoided, then you should prepare accordingly: carefully think through your own position and reactions to the possible words or actions of the interlocutor. If due to negative emotions it is difficult to force yourself to look at the person, then during the conversation you can fix your gaze on a certain point behind his back.
It is possible to find an approach even to the most difficult people. The main thing is to control your emotions or at least try not to show accumulated irritation.
Keeping a cool head is a skill that comes in handy almost all the time. The essence of this art is to show the necessary firmness, while remaining polite and not allowing yourself to be drawn into conflict.
Those who are disgusted do not necessarily deserve it. Often they simply cannot see themselves from the outside and therefore do not realize that they are behaving in an unacceptable way.
To indicate this, expressions such as "when you do this, it makes me feel uncomfortable. Please don't do it again" are used. If the person did not intend to cause discomfort, then he will change his behavior.
Perhaps by following these tips the next time you come into contact with someone you find annoying, you will be able to discover many of their attractive features.
Earlier we wrote about how to clean the oven from fat.
