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How to get along with your mother-in-law in the same house: practical advice
16.04.2024 15:30
Updated: 12.05.2024 23:40
After the wedding, every couple faces the question of where to live.
And if the newlyweds do not have enough money to buy or rent a separate living space, then they have to live with one of the parents. It is more difficult when this is the apartment of the mother, beloved husband.
For a mother-in-law, a son will always remain an adored child, who must always be taken care of. And it does not matter how old he is, 20 or 60 years old. And then a young and inexperienced daughter-in-law comes into the house, with her own habits and rules.
There can only be one mistress in the kitchen. Therefore, in an attempt to manage the house, conflicts begin between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.
How to get along with your mother-in-law under the same roof
Wanting to establish contact, do not expect that your husband's parents will immediately take a liking to you. They, like you, need to take a closer look and get used to the new person with whom they will have to share the kitchen.
When you come to a new home, remember that it has its own established traditions and rules.
The first thing to do is to divide the kitchen. After all, in the kitchen we not only eat, but also relax. And that means we spend a lot of personal time there.
How can you do this? Learn to negotiate. Distribute responsibilities and determine whose dishes are where. For example: “that saucepan and frying pan are mine,” “laundry on weekends.” Decide who will wash the dishes and when. Find out in advance what is allowed and what is not allowed in the common area.
Independence
Often young people get married before they can afford financial independence.
It is unlikely that you will receive respect and good treatment from your mother-in-law if you live at the expense of your husband's parents.
When newlyweds live at the expense of their parents, they have the right to help not only with money, but also with advice. Which can lead to inevitable conflicts.
Common interests
It will be much easier for two conflicting parties to find common ground if they have common interests and topics for conversation.
Find a hobby that will genuinely captivate not only your mother-in-law, but you as well. Because the deception will sooner or later come to light and a conflict in this case cannot be avoided.
Attention and moderate praise
Your mother-in-law, like any other woman, will like it if you give her nice compliments and small gifts. Listen to her advice, but leave the choice to yourself.
Talking about her son
Don't talk badly about her son if something goes wrong. Talk only about the positive aspects. No mother wants to hear or think that she raised her son poorly.
Negotiation
Your mother-in-law does everything contrary to your wishes and does not accept your conditions? Try to make a list of complaints and sit down at the table, discussing everything over a cup of tea and cakes.
Avoid quarrels
Don't provoke unnecessary conflict in the house. Be calm and polite with all household members. If something is wrong, try to discuss it in a calm and even tone.
Husband
Involve your husband in solving the problem. It is easier to find a solution together than alone. In the presence of your husband, your mother-in-law will be more likely to meet you halfway.
Rest
Try to walk and relax with your husband away from home more often. This way you will see your mother-in-law less. The relationship with your husband will be stronger from joint recreation.
No matter how hard it may be, remember that your mother-in-law is your husband’s mother and any conflicts at home can easily destroy family relationships.
Earlier we talked about phrases that undermine relationships .
